Saturday, May 31, 2014

Day 2

Today, we're in Kansas.  The end.

But really.  Most of today wasn't spent cracking jokes or scaring enormous men (see yesterday's post...), but enjoying watching the world zip by.  There really isn't much more to do in Kansas.

Dad observed as we passed a golf course, "how boring would it be to golf in Kansas?  Whack the ball a gazillion miles, walk a gazillion miles...for once I would hope there are a ton of bunkers or water hazards just for a change of pace."  As you can see by the road we traveled for about 8 hours today, he was spot on...



If one were to fall asleep shortly after stopping at a rest area about 2 hours into a Kansas excursion and then wake up 1.5 hours later (when another sibling who "didn't need to go then" decides they need to stop) and said one finds themselves at the *exact* same rest area, just 1.5 hours further down the road, you begin to wonder if Kansas will ever end.  At least their rest areas could be more original.


On the other hand, I do think that it's possible there is little else bigger in the US than the endless fields of wheat or browned corn.  It is majestic to look over something that you cannot fully see all at once: much like looking for the end of the ocean.  It just keeps going.

It is amazing how much of a difference the knowledge that you're in a state other than Kansas can make on your perception of the surrounding terrain.  Absolutely nothing has changed...BUT WE ARE IN COLORADO!

And now that we are in Colorado, Jessica has insisted to drive.  Pray for me.  I may not survive the rest of


...okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration.  But I'm nervous anyway.




As of today, I have seen my first prairie dog ever.  I feel...mystically enlightened.



We drove into a massive storm that lasted about 10 minutes...but it was one of the most intense rain storms I've ever been in.  We could see absolutely nothing, and everyone on the road pulled off to one side.  And then, just as soon as it came, the storm was silent.  Very surreal.








Just as the storm subsided, and the deep blue skies emerged, we passed over a hill leaving the fields of gold behind us as, up ahead, loomed the purple mountains of which the songwriter so aptly wrote.  We are nearly 100 miles away, and they are massive.  Oh, the beauty of our country.





Jacob commented further upon the beauty of this country by pointing out that he loves the "midget Grand Canyons" that pop up randomly through Colorado (really just big ditches made from driving rain).  After 8 hours of Kansas roads, that was the funniest thing we'd ever heard.

Everyone has been constantly freaking out about the mountains, the rain, taking a panoramic picture (on the edge of the road as a semi whizzes by...Dad...), or sticking our heads out the sun roof...but it's very good to be in Colorado.


The kids are down at the pool swimming, and I am watching the sun set over Pike's Peak.  I'm pretty sure that CO Springs is the only other place I'd want to live aside from my beloved Tennessee.  It's beautiful here.  Tomorrow, we go sight seeing!  Pike's Peak, Garden of the Gods...here we come!


P.S. This is a panoramic picture for which Dad nearly sacrificed his life to a semi.  I think it only fitting that you should enjoy it.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Day 1

Greetings, from Lawrence, Kansas!  Your host for today is a miffed and slightly sick Ginger (the eldest one, of course), but despite being a bit sniffly, I am SO ready to be in CO.  I am typing to you on my phone because my laptop/the hotel internet are awful and wouldn't let me on.  My intention was to include pictures from my camera as I wrote...but since I am restricted to my phone, that is currently impossible.  I plan to add photos to this post later tonight.

(Edit: I am not in Colorado Springs, and we have internet!  Pictures, here we come)

In my mind, our vacation actually started the second Jessica and I got off work on Thursday.  We did a happy dance and screamed "VACATION VACATION VACATION" and, I think, didn't realize we would be awake around 5am the next morning.  In my opinion, getting up before the sun is a sin, but hey!  We're going to Colorado, right?  So it's totally worth it.  Believe it or not (and if you know anything about our family, you'll believe it...) being up so early sparked some ridiculous conversation.


The first sleep-deprived conversation took place before the sun was fully up, and went something like this:

Jessica: ...I mean...that's kinda like a straw stripper (apparently some mystical object at Chickfila, where she works).
Jacob: ...is that the opposite of a pole dancer?
Keep in mind this is at 6:40am.





We couldn't get Jessica's phone to cooperate with us on the video of Jen's chin, but I do have a picture...yes, this is as weird as it sounds.


And this is still before 8am.

At a gas station close to the KY border (later that morning, around 10ish, I would say), Jen thought it'd be a good idea to hide beside the men's bathroom to scare Dad as he came out.  Jacob and I were casually browsing the pastry aisle in the newish gas station, and had a front row seat to the proceedings.  Little did my youngest sister know that a guy that looked strikingly similar to The Rock would be the next guy to come out...and screaming "BOO!" she scared him to death.  I believe they both came off the ground about the same distance - he because, well, it isn't every day a little girl jumps out at you with deadly intentions in a Kentucky gas station, and her because...well...let's just say Jennifer wasn't expecting to scare The Rock.  Her face was redder than Jacob's hair, I think, and there were many "I am SO sorry"s to which The Rock responded "Now that's funny raht thar."

Several hundred miles, a giggle and a joke later saw us entering Illinois, for 3 of the 4 kids' first time.  Our first stop was a McDonald's for lunch, and from the second we entered the doors, we all felt like the Southerners we are, not so much because we are rednecks, but because everyone there was so very...well...Northern.  And everyone was staring at us.  Maybe Jessica had something in her teeth.
Northern McDonald's: apparently this is the last oasis in the Northern desert to get sweet tea.  And apparently mustard and pickles are the same in IL, because i distinctly ordered a burger with Ketchup and Mustard only.  I mean, really...who orders a Ketchup and pickles sandwich?  According to Jacob, after a car nearly ran him over in a parking lot (another feature of the North that reminded me of my good friend Cameron Hawley: aggressive drivers who could care less for the lives of carefree, Southern pedestrians), "Lead is thicker in the South!"

Mom snuck pepper spray into the St Louis Arch...she's now a hardened criminal.

Also, we stumbled across some of our ancestors in Creasy Springs, MO, who settled that area in the 1800s.  I felt more at home in the North knowing that somewhere near there are, or used to be, some kindred of mine.

Jacob and I spotted a Muslim lady praying towards Mecca (we assume) at a rest area somewhere to the west of St Louis, MO, and I queried: "How does she know where Mecca is all the time?"  Jacob quickly responds: "betcha there's a 'Where's Mecca' app."  Wouldn't you know it, for one payment of...free...you can buy the app from Play or Apple store.

Also, according to our paternal unit, you can tell whether or not a Chinese man is from western China by the size of his cowboy hat.  As evidenced at said rest area.  Oddly enough, shortly after observing the Western Chinese man in his not-so-natural habitat, dad asked me to define the word "kowtow" (it was in a fictional book mom is reading), and as it turns out, the word perfectly links the previous two stories...if you're curious, you should Go Ogle it.

We arrived in Lawrence, Kansas at 9pm, not having eaten dinner, and exhausted from being on the road for...well, eons.  We checked into our Comfort Inn and Suites (if you want good interwebs, I would advise against that place...and Jacob claims there is about one centimeter's difference between a blizzard and the Sahara in the shower), loaded back into the van, and cruised downtown in search of somewhere to fill our tummies.  After 3 passes through downtown Lawrence (as it turns out, the city is much more jumpin' than I would have imagined...and here booze is a staple, more so even than in TN), we settled on a little Americana-style burger, wings, and oyster joint called "Jefferson's."  It was 10pm on a Friday night, and the place was packed to the brim with loud and obnoxious twenty-somethings, all having a good time.  The food wasn't particularly amazing, but I loved the building.  The first ever tip that was given in Jefferson's (a one dollar bill) was signed by the patron and tacked to the wall.  His friend thought it was a good idea, and not to be outdone, did the same thing, decorating his dollar with a marker.  The tradition has continued for as long as Jefferson's has been in business, and now there is scarcely an inch of wall that isn't decorated with old George's green face.  As best I can figure, there is at least $5,600 in ones on the walls.

After being mercilessly panhandled by a couple of pirates (one called himself the Loki to my Captain America...due mainly to me wearing my Starscream Capt America Olan shirt), we headed back to the hotel and crashed hard.  Hopefully tomorrow (today, now, as I'm forced to write this on my phone the next day...) I'll be writing to you from Colorado Springs, in a hotel with internet.  I can't wait to see the Rockies again, and to show you some pictures.

Until then!


This is probably the largest rainbow I've ever seen.  It stretched for miles on either side of the highway we were on in MO.  Just one of three rainbows we've seen in the last two days.